Then comes the commitment. You rush into the craft shop to buy the things that will keep this relationship going strong. You try new things together. It gives you a new sense of accomplishment. Didn’t realize you could make this, or do this, did you?
But now you want more. Perhaps you’re getting good at this hobby. But maybe you’re realizing that it’s starting not to have the hold on you that it once did. What once gave you a thrill seems to bore you now. What could fix this? Something new! A new tool, a new material. You’ll fall in love all over again, right?
So you try again. You’ve introduced new and shiny things to the relationship but it’s all starting to feel like baggage. The spark’s gone. You’re not in love anymore. It’s over.
Yes, it’s over. Admit it. Time for a break-up. Some things just can’t be fixed. Move on and put your energy into other things.
Take a look in your cabinets and closets and see how many hobbies you’ve picked up over the years. My short list includes guitar, cello, indoor gardening, quilting, yoga, cycling, running, cross-stitch, latch-hook, cake baking, and cooking. What do you know, I’m my very own parks and recreation department. Honestly, some of them I don’t even do anymore but I still have the stuff.
We can lie to ourselves that we will go back to those hobbies, but how realistic is that thought? It’s okay to give up a hobby that you’re not really enjoying or don’t have time for. Would you have stuck around with a boyfriend or girlfriend who you felt just wasted your time? I did that for quite a while. What happened? I was miserable. I missed out on two years’ of dating other people and enjoying the friends I had because I was afraid of losing the jerk I had. I learned that I deserved better. And soon after I finally got away from the ex, I had the time, the means, and the emotions for a good relationship. That’s when I found my husband.
You deserve better than to be stuck with something you don’t like because you think you’ll want to go back! You deserve to get to spend more time with the hobbies you really love. You deserve to have the shelf space back to properly stack the things you need for the activities that give you the most pride and pleasure.
I’ve decided that I really want to work on studying guitar instead of cello, so most of the cello music should go. I want to sew instead of make latch-hook rugs, so I’ll donate my latch-hook kit. My husband decided he doesn’t want to do yoga anymore so I’ll donate our spare yoga mat to the studio upstairs.
Pick your best hobbies and get rid of the rest, and all the junk that goes with them. You deserve nothing less!
(Oh, and you know what the best part of breaking up with an old hobby is? It will leave you alone once it’s out of your sight, unlike the last jerk you dated. No sappy letters begging you to come back!)